I admit it. I am NOT one of those people. You know the ones I am talking about. We all have them in our lives. They are the people who you love but you secretly think are more annoying than cats in sweaters and two-year olds at the movies. Every time you look at their Facebook page, they have a gallon of new photos to share of their lastest “AMAZING Weekend Vacay” to some crazy-ass place like a remote hiking trail in the middle of bum-F*#% nowhere that their “super awesome” pal Skinny G from Amsterdam that they met last summer while back-packing in Europe told them about or a secret treasure island near Hawaii where they went parasailing and shark-diving while also helping orphan children learn how to tie their shoes or something like that. I really f-ing hate that.
Look, I love these people too, and I am grateful to have them in my life (usually,) but I am sick of them flaunting their whirlwind, boho, too-cool-for-school life-style in my face every time I talk to you on the phone or you proudly send out a mass email with pics and detailed iterteiry attached of your lasest big adventure. Are you trying to make the rest of us normal humans feel inadequate for not having gone on a unicycle tour of the Andes?!
Yes, we all get it; you’re fun, you’re adventuresome, you’re hipper than Hipsters in your skinny grey man jeggings and thoughtfully-made Toms.
And we all try to pretend like we want to be those people too, with all their silly photo-ops and inside jokes and MILLIONS of friends on every state, country, and land imaginable. We oh and ah and let them ramble on every chance they get.
But I am stating it clear as day; I REFUSE to want to be that person and I am done pretending (/actually) envying you and your ways. I LIKE being at home, I love being quiet and reading a good book at night till I fall asleep, I don’t want to have to try SOOO hard to be cool and fun and hip. I am almost 30, DAMNIT, and I LIKE being boring! I may not spend my vacations in Bora Bora building new mud huts for natives but hey, every time I go to Petsmart, I donate $1 to help animals, and that makes me proud, too!